Friday, 24 May 2013
Ten Guilt-free Ways To Get Out Of Writing Your Book...
1 - From work, send yourself an urgent long-winded memo that requires immediate attention
2 - Ask someone reliable round for dinner so that you have to promptly clean the house
3 - When drunk, remove the fuse from your P.C then assume it's broken when you're sober
4 - Ask a neighbour - no questions asked - to lock you in their shed for a few days
5 - Accidentally slam your hand on the desk, breaking the wrist of your coincidentally-dominant arm
6 - Accidentally delete your book so that you have to return to the mental drawing board, (the feet-up procrastination part)
7 - Ring your doctor and describe the symptoms of Severe Cognitive Dysfunction. Accept a trial of rehabilitation in a dementia-registered home for a week. Or two.
8 - Ask a friend to run you down in the road, gently. Pretend it's for charity
9 - Lather your laptop in Marmite & leave it in a small room with your teething puppy
10 - Decide, overnight, that you'd much rather be a poet. Or a Gardener.
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