10 ways to kid yourself (or others) that you are writing
1. Switch on the computer and open Word. Type some random letters / characters to fill up half a page and then disable your screen-saver. Leave page on display then go and make a cup of tea
2. Print off aforementioned page of gobbledegook and scratch some apparent pencil corrections onto it. Leave prominently on your desk. Go and make a nice coffee
3. Spread a number of notebooks, text-books, novels, paper cuttings and loose A4 notes all over your desk; sprinkle on some pens and a highlighter, a pack of post-it notes, perhaps. Well done. Go and have a biscuit
4. Stick your feet up on the desk and lean back in your office chair. You are thinking about your novel; fleshing out the characters. This gestation period is essential for writers. But while you’re waiting for the Muse to properly strike, get some brain food for company
5. If it’s sunny, do this step outside on a blanket
6. If it’s evening, why not try it in the bath?
7. If it’s early morning, sleep in! You can tap your dreams for inspiration (especially if they’re freaky.) Remember to memorise these fragments to write down once you’re up
8. Eat dinner with a notebook propped on the wine-bottle in front of you. Stick a pen behind your ear, a busy laptop by your side, (remembering to minimise facebook and Twitter, of course)
9. Run ideas past your partner, even if there’s no response. An affirmative grunt is sufficient, if not good. He/she will have heard and registered that you are mentally writing as you speak
10. Do your banking, diary updates, letters to a friend, to-do list, filing and social media at your writing desk. If it’s done here it constitutes writing. Just about
P.s. I don’t do ANY of these things. I’m 100% busy all the time.
And here's the NEXT instalment of ABNORMAL!
Instalment Twenty Two:
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I STILL NEED HELP WITH SPREADING WORMS!!
LOVE YOU ALL!