Wondering how to rattle off emails in a hurry?

Get your SUPERFAST kitten to do them all for you...

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Hypnotising Your Kitten...

Hypnotising Mogli...

For the same reason someone might seek hypnosis to remove bad habits, I decided to give removing Mogli's naughtiness a bash this week...

Steps to take:

• As she starts to fall sleepy on your knee, whisper calmly whilst stroking her nose
• Tell her she's feeling sleepy, that she must surrender all control
• Remind her she is so cute and beautiful when she's GOOD
• Remind her she's living in a lovely home, with delicious food at the end of one meow
• Remind her she ought to be grateful
• Tell her she looks unpleasant with her ears back, her pupils dilated and her claws out
• Tell her that, contrary to her belief, she's not big and scary when she does that sideways, bushy-tailed maneouvre at you
• Chewing feet is BAD 
• Tell her her toys can be confiscated
• Say that she should never be biting the hand that feeds her
• Tell her the sofa is not a scratching post, that people are not ladders
• Tell her it's no more interesting on the worktop than on the floor
• Explain that she should be over playing with her shit in the litter tray by now
• Bring her gently back out of the trance by stroking her tiny soft paws

If she wakes up scratching you, give her to Oxfam.

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