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Thursday, 10 October 2013

Hypnotising Your Kitten...

Hypnotising Mogli...

For the same reason someone might seek hypnosis to eradicate bad habits, I decided to give: Removing Mogli's naughtiness a bash this week...






Steps to take:

  • As she starts to fall sleepy on your knee, whisper calmly whilst gently stroking her nose
  • Tell her that she's feeling sleepy, that she must surrender all control
  • Remind her that she is so cute and beautiful when she's GOOD
  • Remind her that she's living in a lovely home, with delicious food at the end of one meow
  • Remind her that she ought to be grateful
  • Tell her that she looks unpleasant with her ears back, her pupils dilated and her claws out
  • Tell her that, contrary to her belief, she's not big and scary when she does that sideways, bushy-tailed maneouvre at you
  • Chewing feet is BAD 
  • Tell her that her toys can easily be confiscated
  • Say that she should never be biting the hand that feeds her
  • Tell her that the sofa is not a scratching post, that we are NOT ladders
  • Tell her that it's no more interesting on the worktop than on the floor
  • Explain that she should be over playing with her shit in the litter tray by now
  • Bring her gently back out of the trance by stroking her tiny soft paws

If she wakes up scratching you, give her to Oxfam.

ONLY KIDDING!



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